Recently Nissan launched an ad promoting the sale of their Sentra model which featured the longtime party anthem “Mony Mony,” as its centerpiece. The ad is upbeat and catchy, which does a terrible disservice to those of us that will be paying for a wedding in the next decade or two. If in fact the song finds new life and DJ’s feel compelled to play the song (and its accompanying mystery, crowd-sung lyric) at gatherings nationwide, we as paying parents are doomed.
The commercial also made me wonder: what mad genius came up with the words that seem to fit so seamlessly into the song and are now considered a perfectly normal third stanza?
The debate has raged for years so I decided it’s time to settle this once and for all. If you don’t think that Once Bitten Twice Shy is the most bad ass song of all time then you’re just straight up dumb. Every single American (and some Canadians) older than 30 know every single word to the song. C’mon, try to tell me you don’t and I’ll tell you how much you lie right to your face.
Halfway home in the parking lot
By the look in her eye
What’s next? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
It’s the classic “boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, girl gets her picture on another guys jacket” story. The song grabs you from the opening line because you can really feel how the times are gettin’ hard for that girl while he’s hummin’ and a strummin’ all over God’s world. The poor girl can’t even remember the last time she ate.
Then she learned all about rock ‘n roll on a grey tour bus with the drummer but our hero got there in the nick of time before he got his hands across the state line. Yeah.
Has there ever been a grouping of words that have been more poignant and painted such a vivid picture? No.
Then all the sudden it gets cold and the heater doesn’t work and her sister gets there and teaches her how rock ‘n roll looks.
And then Jack Russell hits us with that haunting chorus. How many different ways can you say “babe”? Well if you’re Jack Russell, you can say it about a hundred different ways, easy.
And finally out of nowhere the song takes a dark turn. There’s blood on his amp and his Les Paul’s beat, and that’s not cool.
Everyone who’s ever been around rock ‘n roll know that’s a huge faux pas. You can do a lot of things to a rock ‘n roll dude, but if you get blood on his amp, you’re probably done. Plus, you’re never home and then whoa boy, his best friend said what?
Candles, burning, the haunting chorus again and then Great White rips your heart out. The genius of the song is that it leaves the door open to a reunion between the two tortured lovers, but Great White slams that door shut when he sees her picture on another guy’s jacket.
You can always hold out hope that love will prevail until you see her picture on another guy’s jacket. That’s it. Door slammed.
And then Great White walks away knowing they just rocked your ass with the greatest song ever.