We cleaned the house daily for at least a month prior to the big day. I was often asked to wipe down the cabinets again and I lovingly did so, every time. I suppose there was also a degree of fear involved as her mood swings during that last month were glorious. We’d be enjoying our Sonic footlong chili cheese dogs (the food of choice for the first baby) when suddenly I’d get in serious trouble for the way I parked. I also got in trouble if I ever took a bite of fried rice while standing up.
So I knew to keep my head down and wipe those cabinets. I also started parking down the block and walking home. And I made damn sure to pile enough fried rice on my plate so I could eat every bite while sitting.